Plane Talk
I’m back on the frequent flyer treadmill. I’ve worked the week in Milwaukee, and am flying to Detroit today for a day’s visit with my parents, then off to Seattle from Detroit on Sunday morning. As I’ve noted earlier, I’ve been a frequent flyer on a major airline for the past 5 years. There are three tiers for frequent flyers on most airlines - “silver” at 25,000 miles in a year, “gold” at 50,000 a year, and “platinum” at 75,000 in a given year. Privileges vest in proportion to your metal status. My status has been “gold” for that period, and it has entitled me to early boarding (big deal - I get to spend MORE time on the plane?) and, most significantly, upgrades to first class sometimes, even if I’ve paid $250 for a trip from Seattle to Detroit to Charleston, SC, to Houston, to Seattle.
This is a structure of privilege that is doomed, eventually, by the financial straits of the major airlines and the onslaught of the bargain carriers such as Airtran, Southwest, etc. There has been a steady erosion of service in first class since 9/11. Gone are the hot towels, linen tablecloths and warm cookies & milk on landing. This sort of contradicts Patrick Smith’s (Ask the Pilot - Salon) class-war troll about how conditions are actually diverging between first class and coach. The example he spends most of his time on, Continental’s apparently sumptuous dinner menu, is probably the result of some bad timing on Continental’s part - they rolled out a “Congress of Chefs” program just before the industry turned to shit, and probably have to continue featuring it rather than trashing their investment. For the most part, I think, domestic first class involves a roomy seat, free drinks and a slightly nicer dinner service.
I think the best point Ask The Pilot makes is that it is a shame that coach class has become such an unpleasant experience. Being on the smaller end of the scale, I don’t suffer that much physically in a coach seat, but the continued squeeze in space makes it nearly impossible to open a laptop and actually type (this requires that your elbows extend away from your body, which usually places them in either the soft, firm breast - or, more likely, the sweaty, hairy beergut - of your seatmates). And the biggest letdown, in my point of view, is the decline in customer service and basic people skills. I realize that the current downturn has increased the workload and shattered the morale of all airline employees, but, golly, if you’re going to remain a flight attendant or gate agent anyway, it doesn’t take that much effort to make us feel wanted, and to make the experience of flying just a little bit special.
The business purpose of the frequent flyer programs was to attain the loyalty of business customers through the “golden handcuffs” of the metallic tiers. To attain the privileges inherent in Gold or Platinum status, a traveler has to book primarily or exclusively on the same airline. This made sense for the airlines when business travellers paid a premium for most of their flights - booking the day before, or the same day, no weekend stays, etc. I once paid $1,800 for a Seattle - Atlanta round trip in coach, and passed it on 100% to my client, during the 90s boom times. However, business travelers are now seeking the same bargain fares as leisure travellers, because their clients and employers have become extremely parsimonious, and the fare premium that justified the extra amenities is no longer there. Since almost no one actually pays for it, I expect to see domestic first class all but disappear as the major airlines either go bankrupt or develop business models that can keep them flying. And don’t expect that to improve our experience in Coach.
In the meantime, please move quickly and quietly through the first class cabin as you make your way to the back of the plane, ensure that your children, if it is completely necessary to travel with them, do the same, and try not to impede the flight attendant as he/she serves our preflight drinks.
