More Evil On The Airwaves
Dr. James Dobson, the Secretary of our newest branch of government, Focus On the Family, was speaking at an inaugural gala last week and took the opportunity to inveigh against the latest evil that “the culture” has visited on children, the cartoon character Spongebob Squarepants. Seems that Dr. Jim sees Spongebob as promoting tolerance for the gay lifestyle.
Since our kid is an adult, but we’re not grandparents yet, I have little exposure to kids’ programming, and the Spongebob phenomenon would have bypassed me completely had not my nephew from Idaho been visiting here once and asked to see the show. Curious about how the show’s ingenious creators could turn a contraceptive into a beloved cartoon character, I watched along. It’s a very clever show, with lively dialogue and characters. I never picked up on the “gay” vibe, however, even though I’m an urban liberal humanist and supposedly susceptible to it. Leaves me wondering why these evangelist creeps always have a better ear (?) for it than I do.
The show’s network, Nickelodeon (”Nick” for short… hmmmmm….) could conceivably diffuse this dustup, as Michael Jackson’s handlers did with the “wedding” to Priscilla Presley, by arranging a play date with The Little Mermaid. Of course, this will raise the issue of whether there is feminist subversion afoot in promoting a female character whose purpose is apparently not the bearing of children (as Bette Midler, in her role as Delores DeLago, said, “The question before us is ‘Where’s her clitoris?’”).
Plus, if Spongebob really IS a contraceptive, the playdate is impossible because his milieu is not some pristine tidepool, it’s a murky anatomical backwater where crabs are an occupational hazard and legions of God’s elite sperm die in droves wherever he goes, more casualties of “the culture’s” war on the family. So, however you spin it, Bob’s in for a rough ride in the tsunami of this administration’s mandate (”man date”?).
