When Electrons Stray
This burst of text messages I received a couple weeks ago had me going for a while. Maybe it was because I was up to no good - I don’t remember. For my own peace of mind, and because I received no subsequent corporal harm around the domicile, I concluded it was a wrong-number text message:
10:09 pm Saturday: I know ur up to no good
12:54 am Sunday: Where the fuck r u at now
1:06 am Sunday: If u pull any bullshit with me tonight abt being late why the fuck can’t u answer me no excuse william call me
1:07 am Sunday: I am already hm where r u at
It ended there, and I never received another. I hope William had a good story - a head wound, a totaled automobile, a dead grandmother. I don’t remember reading anything in the papers.
bad electrons!!!!!!!!!
And now back to your afternoon Soap…….As The Electrons Turn
Sounds like the same person who left innumerable, increasingly histrionic messages on my husband’s cell phone. He (bless his heart) takes out his hearing aids at night, so mercifully he was not being awakened by his phone ringing. I sort of hated for the messages to stop, because, well, let’s face it, they were very entertaining, especially when the caller (a very angry woman) threatened to do some quite imaginative things to her boyfriend if he didn’t call her (”Honest to God, I ain’t lyin’; don’t think I won’t do it.”) But, I finally decided sleep was more important, and so the next time she called, I was ready. I answered the phone. She was flabbergasted that anyone answered, but especially a woman with a low, well-modulated voice (forgot to tell you I am humble). I said: “M’am. M’am. You have the wrong number. I understand you are upset, but you have been calling and leaving messages on my husband’s cell phone. I’m sure the man you want to speak to is guilty of almost everything you have accused him of, but he is not guilty of not returning your phone calls made to this phone.” She said, “Uh, uh, uh, are those messages still on that phone?” I said, “Yes, m’am, they are. Good luck. Bye, now.”
Beth, that’s a scream. There was a guilty pleasure in letting them keep piling up. You’re calmer than Mrs. Perils…she might just have summarily executed me.