And Every One Is Sacred

Battening down the hatches, preparing for an invasion of in-laws today. Mrs. Perils’ brother is arriving from Chattanooga with two almost-grown daughters in tow, whom we haven’t seen in easily 10 years. He’ll visit us (my MIL lives with us) for a few days, then head to Idaho to visit their sister. They’re staying in a hotel, so, unlike other visits, my insomnia couch will be free for my nocturnal wanderings if necessary.

[audio:http://perilsofcaffeineintheevening.com/wp-content/uploads/every-sp.mp3](Sing along with Monty Python)
Father’s Day is coming up this Sunday. It’s not a big deal to me, and I’ll be traveling anyway. I only bring it up because I ran across this incredibly clever paean to the sperm in the NYT by Natalie Angier (it’s not premium content, but you’ll have to log in, I think). There’s also good dose of scientific information:

men have the overwhelming quantitative edge in the gamete games. Whereas current evidence suggests that a human female is born with all the eggs she will have, and that only about 500 of her natal stock of one million will ever ripen and have a shot at fertilization, a male from puberty onward is pretty much a nonstop sperm bakery. Each testicle generates more than 4 million new sperm per hour, for a lifetime total of maybe 12 trillion sperm per man (although the numbers vary with the day and generally slope downward with age).

So Dads, if you find yourself the object of harassment as you lounge in front of the tube, perhaps even idly scratching the area in question, you can respond that you’re actually incredibly busy.

5 Comments

  1. Hilarious.

    Yes, hard at work!

    –cough–

  2. beatriz:

    They’re here, and good grief, the nieces are gorgeous and delightful. We’re gonna head out for sushi this evening.

  3. “idly scratching the area in question, you can respond that you’re actually incredibly busy.”

    now there’s a euphemism worthy of something.

    hope the visit goes well.

  4. It’s hard not to get testy around one’s relatives.

  5. Phil:

    Thanks, all you punsters! Innuendo, out the other.