Big Brother Calling

Has any of you gotten this damn American Community Survey thing from the Census Bureau?  Geez, what a lot of pencil-pushing.  It starts out with a rush of cock-eyed optimism: the “Age (in years)” box allows a 3-digit entry.  The survey seems to be structure-based, as in “what is the living unit (mobile home, sf detached house, cardboard box)” and “what sort of louts hang in this crib?”.  Example:

  • How many rooms does it have (not counting bathrooms, porches, closets, outhouses)?

    • No, the coat closet is not a “home theatre” just because you sneak in there with a flashlight and the Victoria’s Secret catalogue.
    • Why haven’t you finished grouting the tile in the downstairs bathroom?   Your wife hates sitting on the toilet and looking at the space between the tiles.

      • It is a federal crime to punish your wife for providing us useful information about you.

Then there are all the questions about citizenship and national origin.  I began to feel inadequate about being neither a Hispanic nor hiding one somewhere in the house.

I also wonder what they’ll do in Utah when persons 2 - 7 all check the “Husband or Wife” box for the “Relationship to Person 1″ question.  And in portions of the South, Person 2 having to check both “Husband or Wife” and  ”Brother or Sister”.

Well, I guess I could have some fun with this thing, but, even though I like warm weather, I’m going to try to avoid Guantanamo for as long as I can.